Becoming Sister Wives by Kody Brown & Brown Meri

Author:Kody Brown & Brown, Meri [Brown, Kody & Brown, Meri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Non-Fiction, Biography
ISBN: 9781451661224
Barnesnoble:
Goodreads: 13544948
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2012-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

CHRISTINE

The first year of Kody’s and my marriage was tough. I realized that I hardly knew the man I married. I don’t mean to say that I didn’t love him. But he felt like a stranger to me. And I realized that I was completely unsure where I stood with him, which was a terrible and unsettling feeling.

I wasn’t entirely unaware of the struggles I might face. Growing up around so many polygamous families, I was well aware of the problems and pitfalls—the anger and jealousy, as well as the daily organizational and financial struggles. I knew that the situation I was entering was going to be challenging. I’d never seen my parents fight, but I realized that once they got divorced, their marriage must have been troubled for a long time. But in our family, if you had a problem, you just put on a smile and didn’t let it show. I never saw my parents try to work through their differences until it was too late.

But when I married Kody, I ignored any potential problems. I put on my rose-tinted glasses and cheerful disposition and imagined that when I entered a plural marriage, I wouldn’t experience those issues other people faced. If I was naive, it was because I chose to be.

Not long after I married Kody, I stopped being able to cover my problems with a smile. I was nervous and insecure. I felt overwhelmed by my new situation. Janelle had just given birth to Logan. At first, the four of us—Meri, Janelle, Kody, and myself—couldn’t agree on how to organize our household and raise the first child. Naturally, Kody doted on Logan. But this made me feel insignificant. How could I compete with a firstborn son?

For the first three months of my marriage, I lived in the house with my sister wives. It was a strange transition. However, despite some of my own struggles, I felt that the four of us were developing a solid family identity. We’d often eat meals together around a small kitchen table. I had grown up in a large family, filled with kids. I thought it was really, really strange to be sitting around a table with only adults for company.

Eventually, I realized that I needed to develop and deepen my relationship with Kody. I still didn’t know him very well. Although I always idealized the notion of living with sister wives, it became clear that I required a little separation for a time. (Plus I’m sure my sister wives were getting sick of living with a couple of newlyweds!) So I got my own cottage. I loved that cottage. Kody and I needed some time together in our own world. We’d barely had a moment alone since we married.

Three months into our marriage, I became pregnant. Between my insecurities and my hormones, I was a wreck. For the first time in my life, I was apart from my parents and my friends. I was living in Wyoming, which was cold, bleak, and far away from home.

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